Wednesday, October 01, 2008

America Declares Bankruptcy, Rejoins Human Race

Special Bulletin from the Land Beyond Time, or, After the Crash Revisited:
Pundits, news media and assorted visitors from outer space are scratching their heads in wonder at the sudden transformation of America to a humane and responsible civilization. Henry Paulsen, afflicted with an act of conscience, has resigned, and is donating his millions to Catholic Charities. President Bush, lying in the Oval Office, woke up from a nap, and also resigned. He and his loyal minions have taken the offer of a waiting spaceship and are now heading for parts unknown. The 228 honorable members of the House of Representatives who voted against the Bailout-Blowout of '08 are being retained; all the rest have been pitchforked. The toxic sludge wrought by the financial class has been shoveled to the Mall, where Paul Stamets and his colleagues are due to arrive momentarily with crates of mycelium. They plan to inoculate the pile with toxin-destroying mushroom fungus. Wall Street has been fenced in, and it is currently being patrolled by soldiers returning from Iraq. Citizens have taken over the offices of the news media, and a new edition of the New York Times - "All The News We Failed to Print," is now being prepared.
We will keep you posted with updates.

1 comment:

Monica said...

A friend just told me about your blog; thank you; it is great to hear someone who is thinking with clarity; your thoughts also give credence to the majority of american citizens who have expressed strong opposition to this mad bail-out. Thanks, again.